two mutton pills and a stein of mead

This is not a drill:

My MtYG Santa has taken the movie 'The Holiday', popslashified it, and turned Chris into Kate Winslet. There's a scene where he wears an ascot. An ASCOT.

If that's not enough to get you reading, who are you?

Since I'm still stuck in a pop daze (twelve hours and counting!), I figure I may as well share this. Presented without comment, because the last thing I need is a bunch of bitter Lance fans chasing after me with pitchforks.

Fic-wise, ha! I knew someone had written this! And written it damn well, too. Marzipan!JC is gladdening my heart even further on this already joyous day. And I don't even like marzipan!

(As for what we know went down last night for real, I'm hearing there was a Justin-led roast of JC and also some serenading, but I'm not finding any footage! Anyone? Twitter and Tumblr peeps -- little help, please?)

And finally, while I'm still in a linkin'-to-things mood: this has absolutely nothing to do with NSYNC, but is kinda great anyway.

So it appears Lance's pet name for his fiancée is 'Turkey', which is about as face-meltingly adorable as it gets. And thus I am torn, 'cos I've been hearing all these vague fan murmurings over the last week or so, things about how Michael is shady and golddigger-y and quite possibly the second coming of Reichen ("The Many Loves of Lance, Part 2: The Reichen-ing"! Heh.) and...I don't know. I don't know! I s'pose I'll have to console myself with the idea that none of this is any of my business, in any way, on this planet or any other.

Hurricane by myalexandria is, by my count, the second all-new fic to have been birthed in the sweet, sweet post-reunion afterglow and it's poignant and understated and chock full of baby!Justin goodness. Justin's pretty perceptive, for a kid. Although, sometimes? It really is all about the TrickC. As it should be. (Yes, I'm biased. No, you're not allowed to judge me.) Featuring a sharper, more dangerous Lance than you usually find in Germany-era fics.

Honestly, I think my favorite thing about this story is just that it exists. All this renewed interest in sparkly shenanigans can stick around for a good long while as far as I'm concerned.

Lastly, just to prove I can talk about something other than boybands--don't roll your eyes at me! I can!--here's something that gave me a much needed laugh this week: it seems the creator of the foam finger is none too happy with Miley Cyrus.

It's only Monday and I am already weary of the human race. (I'm usually able to stave off those kinds of feeling til around Wednesday or Thursday. Sometimes Friday, if I've eaten a lot of sugar that week.)

So when I got home this afternoon the lobby of my apartment building was swarming with cops. Turns out someone broke past security last night and spraypainted swastikas all over the laundry room and inside the elevator. Nice, right? The building manager assured me that they'll be installing new cameras and floodlights and whatever--as they should, I guess. It's a fine solution, perfectly reasonable, it just doesn't really strike at the heart of the matter for me, which is--WHAT THE HELL? It's 2012--can't people just get with the program already?! Why all the ugliness? GAH.

I just--I can't.

To give you all some idea of where I am emotionally these days, I almost punched a 250 year old woman at the farmer's market yesterday. She was yammering on and on about how they shouldn't accept EBT cards as payment because "this isn't THAT kind of neighborhood", and what can I say? That sort of garbage has always been a sore spot with me. (Yeah, my town IS considered one of the schmancier parts of Queens, but let's face it--it's still QUEENS. Believe me, I have no illusions about my chosen borough.) It was one of those moments where you're hoping a couple of huge, burly guys will materialize out of nowhere and hold you back, and then you look around, see that THAT isn't going to happen, and realize you're gonna have to *gulp* behave LIKE AN ADULT. So no, I did NOT attack a woman who was clearly a holdover from the Van Buren administration; instead I just muttered something bitchily passive aggressive about elitism, which probably came out pretty garbled since my face was contorted with icy cold rage.

I think there's a chance I may have an anger problem.

But on the upside:

-my fire escape tomatoes are doing amazingly well! Sugar Lumps, Lemon Drops and Cherokee Purples...I admit I only chose those varieties because I thought their names were cute. I'm terribly shallow. (I think I'll use the Lemon Drops to make a giant vat of yellow tomato sauce, something I've been fantasizing about doing for a couple of years now. Shallow AND dorky, that's me!)

-my fluffiest cat has recently started crawling into my lap whenever he gets tired. It only took him FIVE YEARS, the little jerk. O_O

-I've got a new chapter of zebraljb's latest awaiting me! The promise of AJ and Lance snarking at each other whilst shirtless is, well, promising. :) Very.

-fic rec: This Colder Air by annakovsky and kyra (The Office, gen). The LAST thing I expected to get all wrapped up in was a (mostly) pairing-less, post-apocalyptic AU of a TV show I lost interest in three years ago, but I'll be damned if this isn't brilliant; it's survivalist porn at its finest. (Apparently there's an even longer prequel, but it's Ryan/Jim and I'd be lying my ass off if I said I was capable of wrapping my mind around THAT particular pairing. Still, I figure I'll give it a go; after all, people DO act irrationally during apocalypses...right?)

Still plodding along like a diligent little cart horse. A cart horse who...likes talking about slash. Because that's not a ridiculous metaphor or anything.

Day 23 - A crossover with a fandom you don't know/didn't know when you read the story

Octobers by xoverau (Chris/Eminem)
Um, does Eminem count as a fandom? (Even though he's only one guy, I mean.)

I had heard of Eminem before I read this, obviously, but like everything else that doesn't really interest me I had always managed to sweep all knowledge of him to the periphery of my awareness. Homophobic lyrics, the Elton John duet--that's about all I knew. And while I still can't call myself a fan, exactly, I do credit this story with opening my eyes to the sometimes challenging but always intriguing World of Emslash.

After an unusual encounter in a public restroom, Chris and Em become deeply entrenched in each other's lives. I should warn you--this fic was also a major contender for the 'Story That Breaks Your Heart' category.

(the link will take you to Part One; all other parts can be found in the author's lj memories.)

Day 24 - a guilty pleasure

For me, fandom is a guilt-free zone. As far as I'm concerned, shame and crippling neuroses have their place--namely every single other aspect of my life. But popslash? Popslash is a Happy Place.

So yes, I may take a stonger interest in slavefics and hooker AUs than is generally considered PC, and I may have gotten the occasional illicit thrill from reading about Chris and JC peeing on each other (what? It was a good story!). And I do seem to recall enjoying a particularly questionable pirate epic in which Evil Captain Chris kidnaps Naive Schoolboy JC, who spends about two dozen chapters cowering in fear as he's passed from buccaneer to buccaneer. (He was a delicate little flower.) But I don't feel guilty about any of it. Nay, I am proud! (Unless my mother ever finds this entry, in which case I've never heard of fanfiction, homosexuality or the internet.)

Day 25 - a story that spawned an inside joke

Rules of Engagement by zebraljb (Chris/Lance, JC/?)
Gave birth to a slew of JC/Steven Tyler jokes that are probably nowhere near as funny as I think they are.

I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I wanna thank mickeym for my virtual dragon! My profile page looks so cheerful now!


Day 20 - a pairing you didn't expect to enjoy, but did!

Alright, here's where I hook my thumbs under my imaginary suspenders and confess to y'all that I don't always cotton to the timbertrick. Wether it's the age difference, or the way-too-brotherly vibe I get from them, I don't know. Stop looking at me like that. I don't have to explain myself to you people.

Anyway, as with most things, there are several exceptions. Here, have a couple:

hitch by cimorene (Chris/Justin)
Because my love of long term pining and other, similar forms of sad-sackery knows no limits.

Father Time by zebraljb (Chris/Justin)
I don't know what it is about this story! First of all, Chris owns a deli, which I adore. (My dad owned a deli and it brings me great joy to imagine him and Chris hanging out together, arguing over kosher regulations.) Second, it's technically a hooker AU--and I've never, ever met one of those I didn't like. :) What does it say about me that I'm so enthralled with Justin as a sad, damaged, underage prostitute? With AJ as his pimp--oh god, how wonderful is that?



Day 21 - Real World but with added weirdness...basically canon but with some otherworldly element, from body swapping to superpowers to telepathy--you get the gist.

Probably about half of all popslash falls under this category--it's a beautifully twisted fandom!--but in the interest of keeping it eclectic I'm gonna go with

Christmas Eve Groundhog Day by cappucino (Nick/Justin)
Nick is cursed to relive the same day over and over again, which may or may not have something to do with Justin and his out-of-the-blue love declaration. There are a few awkwardly placed Britishisms in this story but they aren't glaring and Nick's hilariously desperate attempts to cool Justin's ardor more than make up for them.

Quotidian by lesa soja (Chris/JC)
http://sitnah.home.netcom.com/lesasoja/fiction/quotidian.html
Another time loop scenario-- this time Chris and JC are both afflicted. With sexy results! I just wouldn't feel right if I weren't imposing at least a little Chris/JC on everyone. Besides, this is fabulous.

Day 17 - a story that makes you laugh

The Android Nick Carter by jae (Chris/Nick-?)
I'm not even sure this qualifies as a Chris/Nick story, since it ISN'T Nick Carter that Chris is developing feelings for--it's a Shakespeare-reciting, Jane Austen-loving Android replica of Nick that Lance has commissioned for rather nefarious purposes.

Technicalities aside, this is a total riot.

Making the Band by cappucino and black coffee
Because while it's true that there are many popslash vampire stories floating around, only this one manages to convey the tragedy of a Justin Timberlake who's unable to admire his own reflection in the mirror.

Day 18 - a story that breaks your heart

Usually, if a story is powerful enough to make me cry it automatically gets added to my veeery long list of favorites, no questions asked. That's just how I roll. Good thing, too, because it means today's theme is an easy one for me.

Boxes by turps (Chris/JC, Lance/Justin)
The homeless AU; it could've been a disaster in less talented hands. My feelings for this story are complicated and messy and I won't bore everyone by rehashing them right now, but, suffice it to say, this is heartbreaking stuff. Even with the uplifting ending, it isn't something I can just reread at the drop of a hat--it requires mental preparation, breathing exercises, things like that.

I think, out of all the guys, Lance is the one who really kills me here--something about the way he doesn't complain, doesn't philosophize, just...sort of quietly adapts to his new situation. Tears. Buckets of them.

What You Wanted All Along by Helenish (JC/Joey)
This fic is pretty much Angst Central. Joey doesn't want to share JC--too bad he doesn't have much of a choice. Also, the other three guys are kind of awful and manipulative here and I know I shouldn't enjoy that so much, but I really, really do. :)

Spells by circusgirl (multiple pairings)
Chris is in love with JC, JC is in love with Lance, Lance is in love with Justin and Justin is in love with himself. There's a LOT of pain in this story.

Day 13 - a fantasy AU

Temperance by nopseud (Justin/Nick, Brian/Howie, JC/Lance)
I almost opted out of reccing this one altogether, I was so scared my description wouldn't do it justice. I mean, what else is there to say about a gritty, post-apocalyptic vampire AU with Western flourishes? And ostriches? And Brian running a fancy tea shoppe? And Nick and Justin rolling around in a pile of hay, and oh good lord do I love this story.

Actually, I think the most remarkable thing about it is that it's told with such restraint. Any backstory we, as readers, are given is doled out purely on a need-to-know basis and I love that, love reading something and getting a sense that the author knows so much more than he/she is telling us.

It has two sequels: Providence and Honesty.

Day 14 - a wonderful kiss

Kiss by Synchronik (Joey/Lance)
More like several dozen wonderful kisses, but I still think it fits the bill. :)

So, the guys have this pre-show ritual, and...just read it, OK? This is the ultimate in jola goodness, with a wonderful, ardent Joey.

Through Glass by maggie (Chris/JC)
I could make some horrible joke about giraffe placenta right here, but I won't. Really, this is just a short, lovely piece about JC's fascination with the miracle of childbirth and Chris' fascination with JC's mouth.

Day 15 - a songfic

Beautiful by tnl (Joey/JC)
A sweet, evocative Real World AU based on a Sondheim song that's about finding beauty in unexpected places. Joey thinks JC is the most elegant person he's ever seen, even though JC's the kind of guy who wears Birkenstocks in the middle of a Manhattan winter.

As a bonus, I have totally eaten at the Pret A Manger where Joey first meets Justin. Many, many times. :)

Day 9 - threesomes or moresomes!

There's been a lot of discussion amongst us reccers regarding Day Nine. The general consensus seems to be that stories like this require plot and context to help them transcend the ranks of Mere Sparkly Porn. And yet...while I agree with all that (and I do! I'm all about the context, I swear!), I never claimed to be a saint, so

Normally Kinky by quiet1fic (nsync GSF)
Yup, it's gonna be THAT kinda list. Seriously though, while this story may be wildly porntastic it's also a striking portrayal of group dynamics at play. I have a soft spot for this Justin, uncomfortably reticent and unsure of his place in his own band.

Team Spirit: pulling together by Lily
Is most of this story a flimsy pretext for lots and lots of group sex in a communal shower? Quite possibly. Do I care? Not when the result is a fun and inventive summer camp AU featuring Justin as a perky male cheerleader and Lance as a wonderfully sullen goth kid (with eyeliner!).

No Place Else by Rhys (Chris/Lance/JC)
Not even halfway through the month and I'm already failing myself. I've been trying my hardest not to rec the same author more than once, but I may have to rethink that policy. Chris and Lance are dating, and Lance decides that JC is going to be part of their relationship wether he likes it or not. I love the way Chris and JC both chafe against their designated roles, that they don't fall into the situation naturally and that they retain their prickly uncertainty even while Lance, as ever, remains smooth and confident about the whole thing.

The Royal We by Tiffany Rawlins (nsync GSF)
More like an increasingly twisted character study than anything else. The guys take turns fantasizing about each other. This is gorgeously written.

And while we're on this topic, the fabulous mickeym has recently decided to torture me by mentioning she's got a partially completed Chris/JC/Chris time travel story in her WIP files. It's likely that if this thing ever came to fruition it would melt my face off just by sheer dint of its' existence. Maybe a large-scale mass poking is in order?

Day 5 - A story which formed or changed your perception of characters

Unfortunately, the very first BSB story I ever read featured Kevin as a crazed rapist who terrorized Nick and AJ. It took a lot of work and many long hours of reading to undo the damage that caused; here are some stories that helped me find the softer side of Kevin:

shoop shoop by allecto (Kevin/Nick)
http://www.keyfitz.org/allecto/pop/fiction/shoop.html
I'm turning myself into a hypocrite, because I keep telling everyone that genderswaps aren't my thing and then I turn around and discover a handful of them that are so good I'd gladly read them again and again. This is one of those.

Coming Back, Again by JM (GSF)
http://www.maketheyuletidegay.org/appthena.do?o.action=view_story&o.key=261
Kevin frets, overthinks everything and gets his nails done.

One of my favorite literary Kevins is the one from "The Courtship Of JC Chasez" by Tarowen, which, sadly, is no longer online. (I think I may have it saved somewhere, but it'll require some digging to unearth it.)